By Doug Magill
January saw an explosion of fawning media coverage disguised as reporting of Obama’s campaign speech disguised as an inaugural address. While there were a number of important issues not otherwise noted, Obama distracted news outlets with things that fit his definition of being critical.
You know that gun control thing is really important and it’s just common sense we should do something about it I mean, uh why would anyone be afraid of government anyway?
GDP growth “unexpectedly” (how often have we seen that word in relation to bad economic news during the Obama administration?) fell into negative territory for the last quarter of 2012 raising the real possibility of a second recession. Anyone remember when GDP growth was negative for one quarter during the Bush Administration? And how the media screamed he was destroying the economy and it was a recession? In addition unemployment has increased, while the labor participation rate is the lowest it has been since 1981. Factoring in the labor participation rate real unemployment is around 14%.
Uh, I have seen a lot of combat in movies and it’s important that women be able to play those kinds of roles too so maybe we ought to make the army see if it can get better movie roles for women by letting them fight like men in real wars or something.
Even though the economic analysis that formed the basis for Obamacare has been shown to be flawed, the media still is not interested in reporting the incredible increase in insurance premiums due to mandated coverage and community-based rating that any first year accounting student would have predicted. Still to come, an incomprehensible increase in spending and the resulting clamor for unheard-of levels of taxation, and the disappearance of the entire health insurance industry as the government takes over a business that no longer has risk analysis as part of its reason for being.
I ,uh have watched some football and you know it can be pretty dangerous so it’s just common sense that we do something to make it like less violent or something.
Incomes of poor and middle-class families are falling, as is their net worth. One in five Americans are on food stamps and social security disability recipients have increased dramatically.
Marriage is a pretty important thing and I, uh, know we should support it and love is a good word for relationships and why do we care how many people or things want to call themselves married or something?
The Government Accounting Office issued a report that clarified that the rising level of government spending will drive our national debt to “unsustainable” levels. The main drivers are, of course, the unbelievable expense of the new Obamacare program, as well as the increasing spending required for Social Security and Medicare. Other than Fox News there was no coverage of this report and no analysis at all in any of the main media outlets.
This global warming is going to kill us all and I think, uh, we need to do something about it and raise taxes I mean if we all just breathe a little less why in a few years we’d be probably doing something about this CO2 thing.
Christians are being slaughtered and driven from their homes in Egypt and Syria. This pogrom is unprecedented in modern history, and yet American news outlets do not consider Christians newsworthy except as a convenient prop for ridicule.
Renewable energy is great stuff for my campaign contributors and a way to raise taxes and keep Joe Biden away from the media, uh, it’s only common sense that investing money in green stuff means I control more green dollars and we are the world so why do we need to be energy independent anyway?
The Energy Department is being sued for alleged cronyism in the awarding of contracts to politically-favored companies and for the theft of proprietary technology. Soon to come to a dictionary online near you, “Crony Capitalism” defined under “Energy Department” and “Steven Chu”.
Can we maybe, uh, make these things pull out wallets when people go by the Capitol or something?
You knew it had to happen sometime. Scientists have discovered what may be analogous to the “tractor beam” made famous by Star Trek.
55 million in 40 years. The slaughter of innocents continues.
Doug Magill is a freelance writer and voice-over talent as well as a Star Trek fan. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org